May 25, 2014
I met someone yesterday that for the first time caused me to defend myself and my motives as a Peace Corp volunteer.
I met him at Mark’s (I am changing names to protect identities) birthday/performance dinner before the dinner in a dimly lit room with pink walls that smelled musky and stale.
“Hi, my name is Leroy” and he sat down at our table for four in front of his quiet, soft spoken wife who had a glimpse of fire and steadfast devotion in her eyes.
“Can I buy you a drink?”
“No thanks…We already ordered some wine”
He seemed to be a skeptic at heart. His wife greeted him with a discussion about how strange the place was and they laughed at how the waitress was very stressed about seating people in the front who had reserved seats. Although we arrived first, we had been placed in the back of the room and later enjoyed what we had determined was the finest microwaved food in LA.
He was and actor.
When I asked him what his purpose was for moving to Malasia he snuffed at the question as though it were preposterous to wonder why he would do such a thing. He wanted to seem like he did whatever he wanted whenever he wanted because he was that sort of interesting type of person. His wife had actually told me the reason was for his ex-wife, but I had forgotten that at the time. He then explained that he did everything from deep sea fishing to helping raise the income of the starving actors in Malasia. He seemed to like words with shock value that could catch a person’s attention and make him seem more interesting.
It was as if his ego were so big that facing it was uncomfortable for him and he had lost control of his ability to “just be”. For someone so seemingly out of touch with himself, he had a stong emotional connection to everyone around him being honest. I had admitted to him initially that I met Mark through a “Sex Positive Meet Up Group”. However, I only mentioned to the next person who sat down that we met through a “Meet Up Group” out of respect to Mark in order to protect his privacy not knowing what he had shared with his friends. To that he responded “you can say ‘Sex Positive.” He also told the lady who sat next to him that she could refer to herself as a retired “stripper” and not a “professional dancer” because she was in good company.
When his wife attempted to change subjects by enthusiastically mentioning that I was a going to Nepal for the Peace Corps he responded “Why would you want to go to the armpit of Asia?” He then repeated the word “arm pit” at least a couple times as I cringed. “You should go to Butan instead.”
When I explained that I was purposefully going to a place that could use international aid due to the new government and highly marginalized populations he explained how the Peace Corps itself had very imperialist motivations. When I explained that yes some believe that volunteers are placed in countries according to the state’s desires to increase their international power he nodded his head vigorously and showed a sort of “duh” face. I told him that the state is probably particularly interested in the hydropower of Nepal being the second biggest in the world.
He quieted down a little and I went on to explain that I am pretty much taking a vow of poverty and that I don’t think I will be harming the people by teaching them how to build better stoves, or eat more nutritious meals. Underneath all the speculation, I believe that at least on the volunteer level the Peace Corps is dedicated to helping the lives of the less fortunate. I would personally like to teach them how to see the value in resources that they may not be aware of, or may have even been discouraged from developing. At the very least, the US offers the international community a mutually beneficial partnership through the hands of the Peace Corps Volunteers.
It was bizarre. Here I was bright eyed with noble intentions and he was making me into a villain. I was angry. However, I am thankful that he sparked that fire in me and caused me to verbally defend myself and explain my reasoning for joining such a cause. In the end, I was stronger for it. Perhaps I need to embrace the criticism and like my critic, enjoy the attention.
