Family Portraits

I promised my family in America pictures of my family here in Nepal, so here they are!  I live with my mother and father, my sister who is 21, my three younger brothers ages 19, 16, and 13, and my grandparents.

I love my family and we all get along well.

My sister Neera is inspiring and works for a local NGO in the HIV/AIDS sector.  We hang out when she is home but she is often doing her job traveling to other villages and distributing prescriptions for medications to patients.

My older brother Ganesh likes to joke with me and I can never seem to get a straight answer from him.  I usually have to double check the information he gives me as I assume it's probably not true.  It keeps me on my toes though and makes me laugh :)  When not going to computer technician classes he helps a lot around the house herding the animals, and runs the family store when my father is gone.

My middle brother Yogendra (tall Yogendra) is a student at a local government school.  He's a volleyball superstar and loves riding my new bike.  He's taking his national exam right now that all students his age take.

My youngest brother Yogendra (small Yogendra) is actually a cousin but lives at our house because he's going to a school nearby.  I've recently been helping him learn English and he is motivated to do well on his national exam.  He often translates for me into Nepali things that my mom says in the local language.  He also rides my bike but is a little too short for it.  I like teaching him how to ride, but the bike is in the shop now because of a fall it took when he was riding.  No worries though...well worth it!

My mom runs the household and has her day filled from sunrise to sunset collecting food for our many animals, gardening, and cooking.  She is a strong woman and like Ganesh has a fun sense of humor.

My father owns a store in the town and is a joker as well.  Some of the jokes I understand, some I don't but that's ok.  I smile and laugh like I know what he's saying usually.  One day he surprised me while I was walking up to the house one night.  He threw up his arms and I was super scared because I didn't see him there.  It was pretty funny.

My grandfather (dad's dad) is awesome.  He's super sweet and always wants to know what I'm doing with my day, where I went, and lets me know about events in town.  Every morning he prays and bathes as a ritual before eating his rice.  He is calm and I enjoy his presence.

My grandmother is pretty traditional.  She makes sure that my mom, sister and I follow the menstruation rules.  She also works around the house in the garden when she is home and cooks breakfast.  On days when she cooks I usually eat a little later because things take a little longer, but it's always very tasty and worth the wait.

They all have a great sense of humor and remind me not to take life too seriously.  I really appreciate their playfulness and am lucky for such a chill, fun family!

Our family in front of our house.
Back row from the left: Me, Father, Mother, Grandmother, Grandfather.
Second row from the left:  Older brother Ganesh, Middle brother Yogendra, Sister Neera, Youngest brother Yogendra

My family in the field in front of the house

We love our cauliflower!

So what is it I do over here?

I have been at my permanent site now three months.  One of those months I was away from site to attend Peace Corps training in Pokhara.  We learned about mushroom farming, building plastic houses, drip irrigation, grafting, preserving nutrients in food, and all kinds of great things.  Although much of my first three months have been getting to know the community and attending meetings, I have started some small projects.  The following pictures are of things that I have been doing at my site so far...

Building my first smokeless cookstove at my house

A teacher at a boarding school doing a hand washing training after I installed the "tippy tap" hand washing machine

My sister and brother shoveling our compost pit.  Using shovels here is a two man job :)

Checking the bee population at a house nearby.  There is lots of beekeeping in my area.

Installing drip irrigation at a farm near the government school

An agriculture teacher at the school helping with the installation

Making bags of straw and mushroom spawn at my house.  We had a great colony grow and sold the mushrooms at my father's store in town!

Baby weighing at a mother's group meeting

No mother's group is complete without dancing!

It's that time of the month again...

Mahinawaari

That’s what it’s called here.  Due to the many inconveniences surrounding menstruation in Nepal, I am strongly tempted to go on “vacation” for the four days a month that my activities are restricted.  It’s during this time that I am reminded of Peace Corps 10th Core Expectation.  

“ Represent responsibly the people, cultures, values and traditions of your host country and community to people in the United States both during and following your service. 

Female volunteers in Nepal have experienced mahinawaari restrictions to various degrees.  The first house I lived in did not require me to follow any rules regarding menstruation around the house.  The only rule that I followed was not visiting temples during my period.  With four menstruating females in our family, it made it difficult to schedule things like family trips to temples as we needed to postpone them when Aunt Flow was in town.

Before moving to the Far West region of Nepal, I was aware that there were more restrictions and rules here surrounding menstruation.  After arriving at my site, the list of rules started growing.  Here is what I have gathered so far:

1. Don’t drink cow milk
2. Don’t touch cows
3. Don’t visit temples or lakes
4. Eat in my room.  My sister sometimes joins me in my room while I eat to keep me company, but does not eat with me.
5. When being served food I must place my plate on the ground and back away while they fill the plate.  During this practice I fight back feelings of being fed like an animal.
6. Do not touch or go near the water that the family uses.  I must only use water from the designated bucket that they fill for me.
7. Wash my dishes/clothes/etc. in a separate location from the family
8. Bathe on the 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th day
9. Do not attend weddings
10. Don’t touch babies
11. Throw out all water on the 4th AND 7th day… grrr
12. Clean all clothes and bedding on the 7th day

    At first, it was hard for me to learn these new rules.  I would get frustrated because I did not see any logical reason for these practices.  Even the rules that had some sanitary reasoning behind them went a little over the top.  For example, the rule about throwing out the water from my filter and cleaning it made sense for me to do every month.  However, to do the same thing three days later seemed to be a waste of clean water.  To avoid throwing it out, I would chug a whole Nalgeen of water right before my sister took the filter and dumped the rest.  

    I later learned that these practices are Hindu culture and not Nepali culture.  Nepali people who are not Hindu don’t follow the same rules.  However, around 90% of the people in my area are Hindu and follow the mahinawaari rules.  Times are changing though and the younger generation follows a less severe, more sanitary set of rules.  For example, my mother still follows the older generation practice (called chowpaadi) of living in the a small shed outside the house during her menstruation.  My family built a wooden enclosure for her that is about 7” by 5” and she eats and sleeps there.  The newer generation is now being encouraged to stay in their room inside the house instead of in the animal shed.  This is for sanitary reasons.  My 21 year old sister and I follow the newer generation set of rules.  

    I had a heart to heart conversation with my sister one day during my last period after being frustrated about having to throw out my water.  I asked her how she felt about having to follow these rules.  I didn’t know if it was a frustrating for her as it was for me.  She said that yes, it was frustrating for her too, but that times are slowly changing.  Because it is connected to her religion, she is torn between wanting to show her devotion, and wanting equal rights between men and women.  During my menstrual period, she was given the task of making sure that I abided by the rules.  She was proud of her religion and fimrly abided by the restrictions.  She was given the rules by her mother, and her mother was given the rules from her mother.  I did not want her to feel bad about sharing her culture with me and in the end, I felt lucky to have the opportunity to understand and empathize with her way of life in a way that very few outsiders ever could.  

My sister is 21 years old and having a job with an NGO that focuses on treating people with HIV and AIDS, I respect her as a fairly independent, empowered Nepali youth.  Her choice to follow her religious practice was something that gave her identity and purpose.  I began to see that even within the context of Hindu culture, it was possible for a girl to develop into a confident, independent young woman.  It is my purpose to help other Nepali girls grow to not be ashamed of the natural process that their bodies go through every month, and to be able to have a sense of empowerment and self love while still staying true to their culture. 

    Next week I am looking forward to attending a camp called camp GLOW.  It stands for Girls Leading Our World.  It's a one week camp that focuses on girl's empowerment.  Topics addressed include health, self esteem, gender equality, volunteerism, aspirations, and leadership.  I hope to learn from the experience and someday be able to do the camp in the Far West Region where I live.  With such a large youth population where I live I think it's important to give them guidance and help them reach their potential.  I never want girls to think that because of their bodies natural processes that they are less capable of achieving their dreams.  During International Women's Day I did a short speech for a large crowd of women about how I believe all women deserve the same education, respect, and access to resources as men.  All women have a voice and a say in what path they want to walk in life.  Men and women together must work to achieve this goal and although I might not be around to see the changes, I have hope that things are moving in the right direction.  

My sister Neera and I during Holi

International Women's Day peaceful rally

A sign reading "We are all farmers of Alital!" signed by the women at International Women's Day