Loyalty and Love in the Nepali Context
Loyalty is abiding by the laws of the self, other, or spiritual entity. Sometimes the mind can be led towards loyalty to an idea that it doesn’t necessarily believe in itself. People and places and voices and words can seduce the mind into change. Whether that voice wants peace, love and harmony, or war, hate and violence; such forces can be very strong and can pull the malleable mind into it’s vacuum. The force of war, hate and violence is unfortunately a vein that many Americans get sucked into because we Americans are prideful of our accomplishments, money, social stature, etc. Unable to let go of attachments to possessions, people lash out in fear. They are loyal to the self and the pursuit of the sparkly diamond and cast away, or make the others who question them appear foolish. Out of fear, desperation, and greed they use distraction and avoidance techniques to take attention off their malaise. The magician can manipulate the whole environment around them into making another person look jealous/greedy/disloyal/whatever it is that they need in order to disguise that quality within themselves and direct attention outward. They are only powered by those who are easily manipulated.
In Nepal, I was lucky enough to be surrounded by magicians of a different sort. These magicians understood the need for love, affection, and a sense of belonging. It is hard for people age 14-30 to find romantic love and affection within a dating relationship because they pretty much doesn’t exist. Pre-marital relationships aren’t typically encouraged unless the community is trying to set up a love marriage. For male Peace Corps Volunteers, this meant lots of proposals for marriage and lots of “no thank yous”. My friend got proposed to at least once a day. For females, it pretty much meant avoiding the whole scene, or going undercover.
The beautiful coping strategy that people invent to deal with coming of age, but not being ready for marriage, is to spread their love everywhere and literally love friends as family. In some ways, it seemed immature and juvenile, but it works. Boys would love each other, hold hands, and show affection publicly. Girls share time together and become friends with each other very fast. Boys don’t attach to girls and girls don’t attach to boys as a rule of thumb. I never went to a co-ed middle school, but in some ways I imagine that the environments would be very similar. Adult male sexual tension was diffused by simply being available for love regardless of the sex and having a strong love of the self.
If there was an individual that seems to need love and affection, the community will accept and keep private whatever that individual needs to do to receive that love. If that person has a loving energy, they are received with open doors in pretty much any household. People are very intuitive and can gauge whether someone is just out to take, or is willing to work and happy with just having a meal, friendship, and shared time. Those who have money give without reservation because that is their need. Those who receive don’t complain about their role in life and find the joy in their work and those with whom they share time. If someone trips, they usually make light of the situation and let that person try to stand, but if that person is really extremely lonely, or sad about their situation- it’s just an opportunity for someone to help pick them up and create good karma.
We must be loyal to this law of love no matter our cultural or religious backgrounds. If we aren’t, we are only fighting ourselves and sucking others into our own internal conflict.
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